Robin Whetstone

From 2003 The man was going to talk to me, I could tell. I was sitting on a red girder railing outside the United terminal, smoking a cigarette. My back was to him, but when I saw him sit down out of the corner of my eye I could tell he wanted to talk to someone. And I don’t know why, but I knew it would be me. “You know what gets me?” The other smokers ignored him, but I shifted slightly to look at him. “What gets me is that there’s a whole stand in there selling cigarettes – cartons of cigarettes – but there’s nowhere to smoke but out here.” “Yeah,” I said, unsure of whether to commit myself to this conversation. “You can’t even smoke in New York anymore.” “That’s what I heard! Man, I’m from LA, and that shit just would not fly there. It’s another example of the government, trying to fuck us. ‘What can we do to fuck someone today?’ they say. ‘I know, no smoking.’” “Yep.” I didn’t want to discuss the various ways the government was trying to fuck us with this stranger. I...

Who among us, after spending a sweaty hour at the self-service car wash vacuuming and scrubbing the family roadster, does not look forward to cracking open a cool bag of fenugreek leaves and settling down to a steaming plate of Palak Paneer? It's a cherished summer ritual we all enjoy. But frustratingly, our options for accessing the flavors of Southeast Asia while washing our own cars were woefully limited in Athens. Until now. WTH? Athens, Car Wash Curry

From 2009 Farmer Jason Farmer Jason showed up at my house yesterday. Sadly, I was at work and did not get to meet him, but the reports are that he likes my chicken tractor. Those of you who don't have young kids may still know Farmer Jason if you know who Jason and the Scorchers are; namely, the shreddingist motherlovin' what-would-happen-if-you-put-Hank-Williams-and-Iggy-Pop-in-a-blender-with-a-half-cup-of-nitroglycerine-and-a-heapin'-spoonful-a-kick-ass band EVER. Well, one of them. I saw them in 1985 or 6 at UNF in Jax and my ears are STILL RINGING. Whoo! And what a treat to learn that Jason Ringenberg is as nice as he is talented. After my 3-year-old stopped staring at him in stunned, star-struck silence, he sang Sadie not one but two songs AND complimented her on her monkey blanket! Thank you for giving my kid one of the most awesome experiences of her young life, Farmer Jason. You are the best. FARMER JASON SINGS TO SADIE FARMER JASON IS COMING TO Y...

From 2007 “Ignore the girl in the mohair bikini,” I told myself, sitting down on the lounge chair and pulling the stack of vice presidents out of my purse. She was the only other person at the pool on this Tuesday afternoon, and she’d waved at me when I’d come out of the hotel onto the patio. She looked harmless enough in her hot-pink get-up and orangish spray tan, so I waved back. She continued to wave. “Just ignore her. You’ve got to study,” I thought as I rifled through the cards, but this became harder and harder to do as her gestures, which I could see out of the corner of my eye, began to look less like friendly how-dos and more like the kind of flailing a person does right before going under for the last time. Finally, I looked over at her. “Hey!” she yelled. “I’m glad to see somebody. Would you like some wine?” Would I like some wine…Well, yes, actually, I would like some wine. And what could it hurt, I thought. I’m sort of on vacation, and it is only 3:00....

Freakishly long arms and no boobs, but he did OK. Source . From 2003, the snakebit year. Saturday in Little 5 Points was a lonely, lonely day. Nothing like going to a giant Halloween parade by yourself to make you feel freakishly isolated. This morning I was determined not to feel blue, so I did what I knew would chase away my existential doubts and fears: I went to Target. I went there bent on finding some low-priced yet fashionable sweaters for my upcoming trip to Norway. And boy am I glad I did, because I saved the day! Yes! I had just walked into the store and was heading for the down escalator to the women’s wear/fishing tackle section. I had to wait for a second before stepping on the escalator because of the two women in front of me and their approximately 15 children under the age of 8. These two women were struggling with a huge shopping cart that was loaded down with Halloween booty. They had tons of candy, orange and black streamers and lights, 10 or 12 Power ...

I've spent a lot of time sitting at the red light wondering about this sign while nervously pulling on my own ears. I try to imagine other health care professionals, like dentists, or gynecologists, advertising their services in a similar way. What kind of "experience" is this store offering its users? What kind of mirror is this strange sign holding up for its potential customers? Read more >

  From 2008 In 1991, I was a junior at the University of Florida, majoring in Russian and religion. That summer, I spent 6 weeks in Moscow with 20 of my fellow students. They had flown over as a group, but I was very fortunate to have been able to spend several weeks in Europe before going to Russia. So, instead of flying as part of my school group, I took a train from London to Moscow when it was time for the program to start. This meant that at the end of our stay, I had to take a train back to London, to catch my flight home. I was dreading the 3-day train ride. I had never taken a train anywhere before this trip, much less to a Communist country, and had no idea what to expect. No one told me to bring my own food, for example, and if it hadn't been for the two Kazakh women I shared a compartment with, I would have gone hungry. At least this time I had packed food for the return journey back to London. I waved to my classmates as their bus to the airport pulled away, an...